As Star Trek ticket sales continue to smash box office records and Chris Pine’s fame warps to another galaxy, you can’t help but wonder what’s next for America’s hottest new hottie (The GQ spread alone will keep the pre-pubescent girls giggling all summer long). Rumor has it that comic book hero Green Lantern is on the horizon, which will no doubt prove to be a mistake of “Daredevil” proportion. Wouldn’t it be great to see Pine dig deep into his dark soul and unleash a tortured and conflicted character like the lovably complex Dexter? It could work – Dexter is supposedly having a child this upcoming season and using one of those flash-forward techniques, Chris Pine could appear as Dexter’s better looking son: Trekster. Now I’m starting to giggle like a girl! And, if you’re looking for further validation, just consider the following “strange but true” coincidences: Michael C. Hall, before his delicious Dexter role, was in the hit series “Six Feet Under.” It turns out that Chris Pine is “Just Over Six Feet.” Stranger yet, the Dexter character is a blood splatter expert for the Miami P.D. Chris Pine’s real life father played Sgt. Getaer on the 80’s series CHiPs. On the surface, not much of a coincidence there; but don’t you wish Ponch got Punched so badly a blood splatter expert as talented as Dexter was called in to analyze the mess?
It’s neither here nor there. An endless stream of cash from Star Trek sequels awaits and the constant popping of camera flashes will no doubt poison the fresh-faced Pine. Will he be bold and daring in his film choices to come? Who cares. As soon as Perez Hilton starts drawing circles around your crotch you’ve already reached the apex of stardom.
Demented Daddy Dexter and son Trekster. To get the “look for less,” simply hold a flashlight under your chin.
Christian Bale and Johnny Depp in Michael Mann’s Public Enemies in theaters July 1. Based on early screenings it’s not looking so good but who needs good reviews when you’ve got two hotties up on the screen!